I've Gone Haywire

Greetings people...


it's really been long since I've post anything here.. I was quite busy and yes, you can say I'm quite lazy too.. It's July already.. so, it means, i haven't been posting anything for about TWO month now.. well, i actually did type something, but ended up typing it half way b'cuz, umm, lack of idea... and yes, LAZINESS and never ever get a chance posting something THAT IS HALF-TYPED!.. Okay, to be honest,JUST NOW, i DID stopped, and hesitate on typing the last sentence(the sentence bfore this one).. I'm about to lose my idea again and giving up typing but, thanks to my UNsleepiness, i gotta type.. 


so, people, know what it means by gone HAYWIRE? easy, it means outta control, or depressed in easi-ER word.. get it? D.E.P.R.E.S.S! 


DEPRESSION, something that happened to me A LOT of times these days. Yea, i know, totally weird.. but heyy, I'm not EMO.. it's just that, im too much of a "keep-it-to-myself" kinda person that i kept too much things to myself. Rarely talk about my probs, always end up hiding it to myself. when keeping a lot of probs to myself, it'll mountain up.. yupperz, the prob getting much and much more and harder to handle and yes, it'll explode too when keep things that's a lot for TOO LONG.. not just explode but MASSIVE EXPLOSION! since everything it stuffed in myself and I never let it out, you can say that'll happened..THE EXPLOSION, I MEAN.. it's not that i'm showing that im strong in front of everyone(HYPOCRISY), someone who smiles every single time, AS IF IM someone who has no prob, it's just i DO have probs, lotS of it, but I JUST DUNNO how to express it, how to solve it.. i just rather keep it to myself than tell anyone about it cuz some people might not just understand how i feel..Im afraid of being made fun of(been through this).. im not PARANOID.. im just being cautious.. you CANT just trust anyone... TRUST ME on this..


I am a person which life usually, mainly related and infected to/by emotions, passions and stuff, even researches show that I am mostly related to emotion.. so, yeah, i do care about my own emotions and others. I'll love passionately, i cared, i hate but that depends... And of course, i'd cry easily, only when it comes to sad movies..


despite all that, i still dunno how to let go of my probs.. i cant just cry and waste my tears when im sad.. it's hard for me to cry( since i only cry watching sad movie).. the truth is, i rarely cry.. but once i cry, it's ugly, and stopping will be hard. 


i bet you dont understand what im babbling about..MAINLY bcuz my usage of my full-of-grammatical-mistakes-english.. & mainly bcuz u dont understand a damn about my post.. you must be thinking " what the heck is she talking about???!.. such a wast of time reading this rubbish". but the hell i care about what u think.. i JUST COULDN'T CARELESS.. 


why i type my post today, now, like this, about this,unattractively, empty, undecorated with extravagant fonts and pictures is mainly bcuz i've gone HAYWIRE.. im just depressed... i dunno how to express my prob but never gonna tell it too.. im just.. ahh.. nevermind... im just being me.. collecting everything until at some point, I'LL EXPLODE... 


'kay peeps.. gotta go... headache("heartache", confusion, depression)... thanx for those who reads... thanx for those who comments, thanx for those who criticize, and thanx for those who ignore this post, u've did great by not wasting ur time.. good job!




p/s: see u in the next post.. ohh yea, i should have say this, SEE U IN A MILLION YEARS OF MY NEXT POST...